How I got that way was from my own mistakes. Lots of them. That have now ended with my having to have surgery to remove a mild form of skin cancer. The surgery is called MOHS and is a process where a doctor removes all of the affected skin cells plus a margin of healthy cells to help prevent the skin cancer from returning. It is successful in "curing" the area 99 percent of the time. The type of skin cancer it treats is called Basal Cell Carcinoma. It is the most common form of skin cancer in the country. It is slow growing and local, so it doesn't spread to other organs or areas. Thanks to MOHS it is highly treatable. Despite the upside of this condition, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. And luckily, it is largely preventable.
As a child, I grew up in Colorado where the sun is plentiful. I played outside every day and I was part of a family that loved the outdoors. We did lots of fishing and camping. I loved it. But I also grew up in a time where wearing sunscreen wasn't emphasized the way it is now. So I didn't.
As a teenager, I was in love with a baseball player. So I spent my springs and summers at the ball field. Sitting right on the first base line...in the sun. I was more concerned with getting a tan than protecting my skin. So I didn't.
Twenty years later, I was diagnosed with BCC. My first spot popped up when I was pregnant with Maggie in 1999. This is the area I had surgery on last week. I had what I thought was a zit. But it never completely healed and remained a red patch on the side of my nose. Years later, I asked my doctor about it while at a routine physical. She said it was Rosacea. I had my doubts and even remember hearing that little voice in my head saying "Go to a dermatologist." But I didn't.
When I was pregnant with #2, I developed two other similar spots and a bump on my lower eyelid. I assumed the spots were more Rosacea and the bump was a stye. It really sucks to make that whole saying..."you know what happens when you assume"... true. Especially in this case.
After years of believing I had Rosacea and that there wasn't effective treatment for it, I finally went to a dermatologist. She knew immediately that I didn't have Rosacea. A biopsy a week later confirmed that the two spots I got while pregnant with Molly...three years earlier...were BCC. At the time, she thought the spot on my nose was precancerous cells. The procedure for those is to freeze it. Not pleasant. In May of 2010, I had my first two MOHS surgeries. I looked like this...
When I went back for my annual follow-up, she did a biopsy on my nose and a fourth spot on my forehead. Both confirmed more BCC. A month later, an opthomologist diagnosed the "stye" as BCC as well. I've had four surgeries now and none of them were any fun. The worst one is still to come.
I'm sharing this story because I hope that people will learn from my mistakes. I should have worn sunscreen. I should have sat in the shade at the ball park. I should have gone to see a doctor sooner. And I should have gone to see a dermatologist.
I know some people believe that it doesn't matter what you do, if you are going to get cancer, you will. And there may be some truth to it being part of our genetic make up but why would you want to take that chance. I'm the only one in my immediate family to have skin cancer. And as far as I know, no one in my extended family has had it. If I had done everything right and still got skin cancer, I could live with that. But knowing I might have been able to prevent it makes me mad. Mad at myself.
I know some people have concerns about the chemicals in sunscreen. I do too. But I'm not willing to take the risk of developing more skin cancer. I was fortunate I got BCC and not one of the more dangerous kinds. And I certainly don't want my children to go through this. So when I can't be in the shade, the areas that aren't covered by protective clothing or a hat will get slathered in sunscreen. Despite my concerns.
If you have anything on your skin that doesn't heal or doesn't look normal, don't wait. See a dermatologist. You can treat older areas - to that I can atest - but it is much easier to remove areas that haven't had time to grow deeper into your skin or spread out to the size of a nickel on your nose.
I'm one surgery away from being cancer free. The healing process on this last round is taking a while. I look like this now...
Lovely isn't it. And while I'm very happy about the prospect of not having these anymore, I'm not out of the woods. I have a greater chance of developing more of them in the future. For me, the damage of my mistakes is done.
Hopefully, you won't make the same mistakes.
p.s. All those days at the ball field were an epic fail. I don't think that boy even knew I existed.
p.s.s. The correlation between four of my five spots developing while I was pregnant was no coincidence. Turns out the growth hormone present during pregnancy can stimulate the cancer.
